Self-acceptance in this society
The feeling of being continuously observed and the fight of self-acceptance mean two very related notions that usually never abandon a patient of distony. In fact, it is really hard to learn to live one's life conditioned by mandatory renunciations.
During my childhood, for example, I had to accept two important renunciations (so hard for a child who had to give up in a few months his passion for drawing and playing the guitar). This made me consider life from an adult point of view too soon. From then on I had to enjoy these and other arts and capabilities as a passive spectator.
This is just the main battle we must confront when the symptoms of this disorder begin when being so young and then you we are pushed to understand your future life in a different way.
Some years later, the balance between embarrassment and self-esteem, and the level of understanding from each one's circle each one is going to depend on, will bring to every patient a scenery, more or less comfortable, where to develop somehow.
Believe me if I say it is not easy at all to spend your life giving explanations or asking for help here and there, but unfortunately there is no other way out. The good news is humankind to be, in general terms, really more and more sensitive with people's problems, very specially the ones of your closest circle. Anyway we do know this is not at all enough.
Patients of dystonia must build their own psychic fortress and dream of winning some day this never ending battle, and also not to feel depressed once or several times along lifetime. Maybe these are situations easier to understand when you get to know some details.
For instance, the difficulties for establishing or taking care of social relationships are kind of a simple example of those issues patients of dystonia worry about very often. Stupid things as crossing the pavement not to meet anyone (even unknown people), feeling ashamed to write in public or renouncing to trivial things such as taking olives from the plate or playing parcheesi or cards (among thousands of examples), due to the usual apprehension of dystonia patients to show their defects, make many of these people look strange, elusive or antisocial ones, being their reality just the opposite.
Although I personally seem having assumed relatively my illness, I must confess I keep on being a victim of its symptoms more than I would like to be. I am really conscious I need maximum levels of trust from my circle of friends to fully express myself. So it can be said I depend and I will always depend on some people somehow.
The possibilities of reaching at least the standards of the 'normal' world are in our hands, and they should become kind of a challenge, even a must. I am sure the souls of the patients of dystonia are usually generous and grateful with other people (specially if these ones live under delicate situations) which outlines a magnificent feature in order to understand the circumstances of everyone, and yours at first place.